Spiritually Aligned Relationships.
Building marriages, families and Kingdom living through covenant, order and intimacy with God.
A guided discipleship workbook anchored in the 8-4-2-1 transformation code.
By Will Mukes, LMFT
An anchored life begins with an anchored relationship with God. This workbook is for the believer ready to do the inner work that produces Kingdom centered relationships built on covenant, sacrifice and intimacy with Christ.
How this workbook is built.
My soul is anchored.
An anchored life begins with an anchored relationship with God.
Most people seek healthy relationships while carrying unresolved wounds, distorted identity, fear, shame, pride, control issues, abandonment wounds or unhealthy expectations.
God never designed marriage to function apart from spiritual alignment with Him first.
The goal of this workbook is not simply to help couples get along. The goal is to help individuals become spiritually aligned with God so they can build Kingdom centered relationships that honor Christ.
A spiritually aligned marriage is.
My soul is anchored.
· Will MukesTake a breath. Find a quiet hour. Write the date below. This workbook is meant to be slow.
The 8-4-2-1 transformation code.
The four numbers that anchor every section ahead.
God opens doors for transformation when we surrender old patterns.
Eight is the number of starting again. The old patterns must die in order for new life to emerge.
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature. 2 Corinthians 5:17
- What old relationship patterns must die in order for new life to emerge?
- What unhealthy cycles keep showing up in your relationships?
Healthy relationships require a solid spiritual foundation.
Four corners. Four walls. Four pillars under everything you are building. Without the foundation, the house cannot stand.
Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Psalm 127:1
- Is your relationship built more on emotion or spiritual discipline?
- What foundations are currently unstable in your marriage or family?
God created relationships to function in divine order and agreement.
Transformation occurs when our will aligns with God's will. Two becoming one in agreement.
How can two walk together unless they agree? Amos 3:3
- Where is there misalignment in communication, vision or priorities?
- What areas need surrender and prayer?
God desires oneness rooted in covenant and intimacy.
The goal is one heart, one mind, one direction. Covenant unity is what the world cannot manufacture.
And the two shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24
- What is preventing deeper unity in your relationship?
- Have you allowed fear, pride, resentment or control to create distance?
New beginnings, healthy foundations, willing alignment, covenant unity. That is the path.
· Will MukesKingdom order in relationships.
Understanding God's design.
God established order before He established relationship roles.
The world often teaches power, control, competition and self preservation. Scripture teaches sacrifice, honor, humility and covenant.
When God instructed husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, He established sacrificial leadership. When God instructed wives to respect their husbands, He established partnership rooted in honor and trust.
Neither role was designed for domination. Both were designed for spiritual alignment.
· Will MukesKey scripture study.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Ephesians 5:25
- What does sacrificial love practically look like?
- What areas of selfishness does God want removed from your life?
- How does dying to self strengthen relationships?
Let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:33
- What does healthy respect look like?
- How can communication either build or tear down trust?
- How does honor affect emotional safety?
Dying to self.
The daily cross.
Jesus modeled surrender.
Not my will, but Your will be done. Luke 22:42
Spiritually aligned relationships require both people to die daily to.
Healthy covenant relationships are impossible without surrender.
What must die?
Write down the behaviors, thought patterns, communication habits, emotional reactions, wounds and fears that continue to damage your relationships.
"Lord, expose every area where selfishness, fear or pride is preventing me from loving others the way You intended."
· What must dieThe power of spiritual alignment.
Seek first the Kingdom.
One of the greatest mistakes people make is expecting another imperfect human being to heal wounds only God can heal.
God never intended your spouse to replace your relationship with Him.
Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. Matthew 6:33
When individuals seek God first.
- Have I been expecting people to provide what only God can provide?
- What emotional wounds still need healing?
- What does intimacy with ABBA Father look like in my daily life?
- Do I spend intentional time allowing God to proofread my thoughts?
Did you allow God to proofread your thoughts?
· Will MukesThe healthy opposer.
The gift of perspective.
Woman was never created to be inferior.
She was created to bring insight, perspective, discernment, nurture and wisdom.
A healthy marriage requires curiosity instead of constant conclusion.
Be more curious than conclusive.
· Will Mukes- Why does my spouse think differently than I do?
- What perspective might I be missing?
- Am I listening to understand or listening to defend myself?
Complete these statements.
Take your time. Bring honesty. Then share what you wrote with the person you trust.
One thing I wish my spouse understood about me is...
One fear I struggle expressing is...
One thing that helps me feel emotionally safe is...
One thing I need more of spiritually is...
Safe space and covenant.
Covenant versus contract.
God designed marriage to be a covenant relationship where.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. James 5:16
Healing begins where hiding ends.
· Will MukesName the wound. Name the impact.
Identify the wounds carried into your relationships.
- Trust?
- Communication?
- Intimacy?
- Emotional safety?
The courtroom of heaven.
Jesus our advocate.
When we confess our struggles and surrender them to Christ, we remove the enemy's ability to weaponize shame against us.
We have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. 1 John 2:1
Declarations to write daily.
Speak these out loud. Write them in your journal. Let them become the soundtrack of your renewed mind.
- I am not abandoned.
- I am chosen.
- I am redeemed.
- I am forgiven.
- I am being transformed.
- My identity is in Christ.
- My soul is anchored.
- God is teaching me Kingdom living.
- I do not belong to fear.
- I belong to Christ.
Truth destroys the enemy's lies.
· Will MukesBuilding a Kingdom outpost.
Your home as ministry.
God desires homes that model.
A spiritually aligned home becomes.
Kingdom order produces Kingdom outcomes.
· Will Mukes- What does your home currently feel like to those who live in it?
- Which of these qualities is most present?
- Which is most missing?
- What is the first stone God is asking you to lay this season?
Get Anchored commitment.
Today I choose.
I choose to become spiritually aligned with God.
"I choose to become spiritually aligned with God so I may properly love, lead, serve and honor others."
"My soul is anchored."
Get Anchored daily practices.
Walk these out morning by morning.
Ten anchors for the day ahead.
Check each one as you live it.
Recommended scripture study.
Sit with these passages slowly. Let them shape the eyes you bring to your relationships.
Get Anchored signature principles.
Eight short sentences. Carry them with you.
Eight anchors for the rest of the road.
Read them slowly. Let them sit. They are the through line of this entire workbook.
Be aligned. Be anchored. Be Kingdom.
Take these eight into your week. Not as slogans. As anchors.
- Be honest.
- Be surrendered.
- Be present.
- Be covenant.
An anchored life begins with an anchored relationship with God. Everything else flows from that one yes.
· Will MukesA counselor who writes for the person in the chair.
Will Mukes is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Wichita, Kansas. For over a decade he has sat with people in the quiet, the loud and the broken rooms of their lives.
His writing carries one conviction. Healing happens when clinical skill is anchored to the certainty that the Holy Spirit speaks, Christ heals and the work of a good counselor is to listen long enough to hear what is actually being said.
Get Anchored Ministry is his framework for that work. Every book on his shelf is part of that one project.