Working the Puzzle.
A guided workbook for healing, clarity, identity and Kingdom thinking.
By Will Mukes, LMFT
This is not a book to be read. This is a workbook to be worked. Bring a pen. Bring honesty. Bring the pieces of your life that feel scattered, and start turning them over, one at a time.
How this workbook is built.
Why this workbook exists.
Life has a way of scattering pieces.
Sometimes the pieces come from trauma. Sometimes from betrayal. Sometimes from disappointment, grief, rejection, abuse, shame, fear, poor choices or unhealthy relationships.
Over time many people begin trying to work the puzzle of their life emotionally exhausted, spiritually confused, relationally wounded and mentally overwhelmed.
As a counselor, I often remind clients:
Healing and personal growth are a lot like working a puzzle.
· Will MukesWhen most people prepare to work a puzzle, they study the picture on the box, separate the frame pieces, group similar colors together, and work patiently with intention.
But imagine trying to complete a puzzle without looking at the picture. With the pieces upside down. Without organizing anything. Becoming frustrated every few minutes.
That would create confusion, discouragement and unnecessary effort.
Yet this is exactly how many people try to navigate life. They attempt to understand relationships, emotions, trauma, identity and purpose while viewing life brown side up.
Counseling often involves helping people turn pieces over, examine patterns, separate truth from lies, identify missing connections, rebuild healthy thinking, restore Kingdom identity, and learn how to work the puzzle differently.
This workbook is designed to help you slow down, reflect, organize your emotional experiences, and begin rebuilding your life with intentionality, truth, wisdom and clarity.
Take a breath. Find a quiet hour. Write the date below. This workbook is meant to be slow.
The puzzle pieces of life.
What pieces of your life currently feel:
- Confusing
- Missing
- Broken
- Disorganized
- Overwhelming
Write them below.
The puzzle principle.
Not every piece belongs everywhere.
One unhealthy relationship can distort an entire picture. One lie believed repeatedly can affect identity, confidence, relationships, decision making, emotional regulation and spiritual growth.
Be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2
Brown side up thinking.
Brown side up thinking happens when emotions lead instead of truth. When pain defines identity. When fear controls decisions. When shame distorts perspective. When trauma becomes the narrator.
Brown side up thinking often sounds like:
"I will never change."
"Nobody cares."
"I am too damaged."
"I always mess things up."
"This is just who I am."
These thoughts may feel true emotionally while being false spiritually and psychologically.
Turn the pieces over.
Write down three recurring thoughts you struggle with.
- Is this thought completely true?
- What evidence supports it?
- What evidence contradicts it?
- What does God's Word say?
The frame pieces.
Why frames matter.
When working a puzzle, the frame creates structure.
In life, healthy boundaries and foundational truths create emotional structure.
Without structure, emotions drift. Relationships become chaotic. Identity becomes unstable.
Your frame pieces.
Spiritual frame
- Prayer
- Scripture
- Worship
- Fellowship
- Confession
- Surrender
Mental frame
- Healthy thinking
- Self awareness
- Emotional honesty
- Accountability
- Discernment
Relational frame
- Boundaries
- Communication
- Respect
- Honesty
- Mutual responsibility
You cannot build a peaceful life using chaotic thinking.
· Will MukesWhere is chaos currently influencing your thinking?
Truth vs. lies.
The lie problem.
Many people unknowingly build their lives around false narratives, distorted beliefs, unhealthy labels and unresolved wounds.
Lies often sound familiar because they have been repeated for years.
Common lies.
A lie believed long enough begins to feel like truth.
· Will MukesWhat is one lie you have believed for too long? And what is the truth that contradicts it?
The T.A.M.E. principle.
Thoughts. Attitude. Motives. Encourage and edify.
Your thoughts shape your attitude. Your attitude shapes your motives. Your motives shape your words. Your words shape your behavior.
What am I repeatedly thinking?
How are those thoughts affecting my emotional posture?
What is driving my responses?
Are my actions building life or creating destruction?
Walk a trigger through T.A.M.E.
Choose one recurring emotional trigger and walk it through the four steps.
Identity and Kingdom thinking.
Who told you that?
Many people unknowingly allow trauma, rejection, failure, addiction, abuse or relationships to define who they are.
But pain should never become identity.
If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17
Your struggle may explain you, but it does not have permission to define you.
· Will MukesWhose voice has been telling you who you are? And what is the voice of God saying instead?
Learning to work the puzzle differently.
Healing requires patience, honesty, humility, courage and intentional effort.
Sometimes pieces must be examined, repositioned, surrendered or set aside.
Not every relationship deserves permanent access to your emotional table.
Healthy questions to ask.
Pick the question that hit you the hardest. Sit with it. Answer below.
The 8421 transformation framework.
New beginnings.
God specializes in restoration and renewal.
Foundation.
Healthy lives require healthy foundations.
Alignment.
Healing often requires realignment with truth, wisdom and God's design.
Unity.
Wholeness develops when heart, mind, spirit and actions align.
What picture are you trying to build?
With your life. With your time. With the pieces you have left.
Healing is not about pretending the puzzle was never broken. It is about learning how to rebuild the picture with wisdom, truth, grace and intentionality.
· Will MukesLord, help me to see clearly.
Help me recognize truth from lies.
Teach me to stop viewing life brown side up.
Give me wisdom to organize the pieces of my life with patience, honesty and courage.
Restore my thinking.
Strengthen my identity.
Guide my relationships.
Help me become who You created me to be.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.A counselor who writes for the person in the chair.
Will Mukes is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Wichita, Kansas. For over a decade he has sat with people in the quiet, the loud and the broken rooms of their lives.
His writing carries one conviction. Healing happens when clinical skill is anchored to the certainty that the Holy Spirit speaks, Christ heals, and the work of a good counselor is to listen long enough to hear what is actually being said.
Get Anchored Ministry is his framework for that work. Every book on his shelf is part of that one project.